 Life
books for the Adopted Child When You Have Little Information
by Lisa Copen
Designing
a life book for your adoptive child or foster child may
seem overwhelming, especially when you don't have a lot
of information about your child's life before he or she
became a part of your family. One of the biggest stumbling
blocks is getting past the feeling over being overwhelmed.
Adoptive
families vary in the extent of information they may have
about birthmother of their child. While some families actually
have the birth mother over to baby sit the child occasionally,
others meet at a park for a few hours each year. Other families
have no relationship with the birth family, perhaps even
nothing more than a name on paper if that.
Many
families have two or more adopted children and the relationships
of the different birthmoms with the family vary. One birthmom
may be very involved, while others have no contact at all.
When this happens, oftentimes a birthmom of one child will
go out of her way send notes or small gifts to the sibling
of the child to make sure each child feels included and
loved.
If you
have a good relationship with a birth mom you may be able
to get any information you wish for your child's adoption
album. She may even be eager to assist to help dig up information
or answer questions to help your child have an amazing book.
If you
don't have very much information about your child's birth
or birth family-if any at all-don't worry. You can still
design an incredible book that helps your child understand
his or her history.
For
example, though one of the most important parts of the life
book is about the biological mother, you may not even have
a photo. You may want to include a poem about how a birth
mom feels or write something like, "Did you know that
your birth mom and birth father passed along a lot of physical
traits you to in their DNA. I bet you got your pretty blond
curls from your birth mom!"
It seems
hard to imagine for many people, but adopted parents may
not even know the actual birthdate of their child or where
he or she was born. Rather than making a big deal out of
this in the life book, write something like, "We think
you were probably born sometime during the winter of 2005.
The director of the orphanage said that you weighed the
same as the other children born around that time."
Don't
forget that it's not the amount of information that will
make your album complete, but the love and effort that you
put into the adoption book that your child will notice most.
As your child grows older and asks more questions about
his place of origin, you can do research together to help
answer his questions. But don't put off creating an adoption
life book because you don't have all the information you
wish you had. Children love reading about themselves and
they even enjoy making up their own stories to fill in some
of the blanks.
The
Adoption Scrapbook Album is a quick, easy way
to create a personalized lifebook. Use transparency overlays
and friends will admire--even if you aren't crafty. Free
poems and quotes from Lisa Copen at Scrapbook
My Adoption
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